Have i finally got an answer?? Arrrggg..... i feel like screaming!!!!!!!! Why am i always keeping things to myself???? why Can't i share???!!! What is holding on to me???!!! Kill myself can???!!!STOP IT!!!!!

Omg, what happen to me??? So tired today yeah. burying myself with music. Music is always my bestfriend. Happy, angry, sad, lonely Just listen to music. Singing helps too. Well, every music tells different story, we need to understadn the story behind it and sing along the beat, yeah! I'm just living in that world.  MUSIC LIFE

Having mood swing?? i dun no. Maybe is because I'm not feeling well ba. Everything just pissed me off, maybe in this situation? Have been doing homework since afternoon and at least i manage to finish so that i dun have the burden on my shoulder tmr. 

Hais... ask me the same question again??  I just want to tell you that I've been telling you the truth, but i think you believe me at all, I'm speechless, i dun know how to ans ur question because whatever i tell you, you dun even believe, so what can i say??? If you choose to believe others then so be it la. Why bother asking me? 

Am i a ball??

Seriously have enough ok? Please la, you dont even know a single thing and you start thinking of all those craps. seriously..... People here trying to solve. Fine! i dun bother how you gonna think, be it true or not. Go on... i dun care!!! I think i shouldn't have bother to explain either. If you dun bother to make a different why should i?? I Dun find a need to. Everyone have a limit ok? WHATEVER LA!!! Do whatever you want!!

AHHhhh!!!! My mother come in the wrong time!!!!! She is here when i really feel like crying!!!!!! Why you do this to me??? Just live me alone. This is what I'm going to say, You just don't understand and i think you will never get to understand. It wasnt all what you think and what u see. But what-so-ever, I'm someone that wont tell you anything or wont take initiative. So whatever it is, be it whether or not i regret, I'll rather choose to suffer than to say out. I will bury myself with books and study hard!!!!! I wont think... and i'm not going to tell you this.

My awesome BRO!!! <3

Ok, the handsome guy beside which is my bro shall be one of my topic today!!:) He is a very good bro, really concern about me. He is a very sweet guy although sometime very annoying, THIS IS HIM.<3 I still love him even though. I will never forget what he did for me and bully me when i'm young. JK.Maybe he have only one sister and i also only have one bro which is him, thats why we're so close. But if one day, i would have to leave this world, the only thing that i want to tell him is that he is the BEST bro i've ever met and i love him very much. Not going to tell him this now but one day......


I suddenly feels that my parent really very caring,although ya, sometimes there's some misunderstanding but its normal isn't it? They are still the most important people in our life, they are the one that really love and care about us. They want the best for us. Be grateful that we still have them.<3Cant imagine if one day i lost them, what will i do? Not gonna think about it.


I really feel very blessed to have so many friends and my family with me, so what's more do i ask for? I'm contented. Although having so many friends may be a scary thing but at least i know who are the one that i can rely on, and just one will do. I just don't understand why there's betrayal in some friendship? What do they want from others? Don't you find a pity to cheat on someone that really believe in you?  I will really feel very sad to lose friendship.

 I always find friendship  is a very mysterious bond between human because is like its a fate for you to meet someone vs so many people in the world. So this is what god's plan. He is the one that leads everything but whether or not its sustain, its all depend on you and the other party. So isn't it sad to end it? DEFINITELY!! So I'm gonna cherish my friendship even if i know that they are just trying to make us of me, i know i can protect myself. Just stay happy, always smile and everything will be easier to work.

Friday, we just got our Exam timetable. Wow, just less than a month and we're going to take our examination. This year past real fast, few months seems like few days. Next year it will be worst, my Bro had been scaring me this few days, don't be so evil can? Nvm, its ok. 400++ days to our O levels, so nearrrrr.... Why CT2 5 days only? Can you just give us more time to study? The last day of the exam, E1 and E2 still have A math from 3-4pm thn Sheryl still have Cca :( Nvm la anyway i feel that birthday is the day when Mothers when through all those pain to bring their beloved child into this world, so we should be thankful to our mother on our birthday. MUM!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! <3<3

一個人不可能 

DING DANG!!!! This is one of the songs that tells her story.....

                                  being crazy


Currently at RUIYAN Baoberr,,,, 's house. She is going through pain and what i can do is just look at her, i cant go inside her stomach and help her right? I only i can. I DUN NO WHAT TO DO!!! Just now went to Sheryl babe's house for E learning, quite productive but also having fun. Hahaaaa.... ok. What should i do now??? Dun no. 


The above photo were taken in Yannie's house using my com cos i really have nth better to do. Should i watch movie??? Ok la, i sounds stupid, talking to myself but well, entertainig myself ma. teehee:)


Haiyo, i really dun no what to say le, wait wait.... wait till i thought of something to post or say thn i blog again. BYE ;)

The only way for me to stop thinking of all those problems is to stare in the air, sounds a bit weird but this is what i do. Omg, I've make myself sounds retarded. OK. Although this only last for a min or even less but at least i was able stop myself from thinking too much. The moment i stare in the air, I will feel that I have not burden, no stress, no problems. Its just make me feel like Im a very free and easy person which i can be very happy everyday. Well, please get back to reality.....

I just love the time spending with Lst during Geo lesson, Is like the only time that i can be with her and the only time we started singing to each other, recalling all those songs that we didnt hear or sing for long. Then we will started to look at each other when we forgot the lyric and then both of us will be laughing at each other when we recall it at the same time. Last few days during Geo lesson, we suddenly remember a song which we've forgot the first part of the lyric. This song was sang by 

王心凌– 下一頁的我. This is the song which i remember Lst and i was working very hard to memorise the lyric together (last yr) during recess or after school. But not bad la, we actually took 3 days to memorise it. 

王心凌 –下一頁的我

就  要  出  发   是  吗   这  问  题 困  扰  着  我
是  个 可 能   吧   或  许 想    太  多
有  的 梦   不 去 做  好  可 惜

我 害  怕 吗   有  点     孤 单  很  痛   的 对  不 对
我 得 放   下    翻  开  这  一 页   没  时  间   想    过  去
心  中    会  怕 才  问  自 己   那 些  曾   经   的 话  语谢  谢  是  你 让   我 有  天   空   和 明   天     学  会  独 立
站   在  未  知  的 泥 土 里   看  我 勇   敢  的 深   呼 吸
黑  的 夜   我 不 怕   天   空   很  大   像    在  说     不 能   哭
下  一 页 的 我   会  去 哪 里   用   多  大 的 勇   气所  有  梦   里 面   的 风   雨   我 不 怕 那 是  我 的 试  题
下  一 页 的 我   希 望   能   拥   有    美  丽 的 明   天
所  以 这  次 我 送   走  从   前     因  为  我   看  的 见
担  心  什   麽   去 吧   爱 让   人  哭 真   对  不 起之  前   的 回  忆   握 在  掌    心  里
它 让   我   再  苦 也 肯  努 力

耳 边   的 风     吹   吧   让   我 听   见   新  消   息
在  旅 途 上      爱 是  氧   气   让   我 越  来  越  肯  定
心  中    会  怕 才  问  自 己   那 些  曾   经   的 话  语谢  谢  是  你 让   我 有  天   空   和 明   天     学  会  独 立
站   在  未  知  的 泥 土 里   看  我 勇   敢  的 深   呼 吸
黑  的 夜   我 不 怕   天   空   很  大   像    在  说     不 能   哭
下  一 页 的 我   会  去 哪 里   用   多  大 的 勇   气所  有  梦   里 面   的 风   雨   我 不 怕 那 是  我 的 试  题
下  一 页 的 我   希 望   能   拥   有    美  丽 的 明   天
所  以 这  次 我 送   走  从   前     因  为  我   看  的 见
寓 言  藏   在  我 心  中      相    信  它 吧   往   前   冲我 的 路   我 就  一 定   让   它 走  成    幸   福
那 些  作  了 的 梦   忘   了 吗   那 些  万  分  之  一 的 也 许
不 用   说     我 还  是  我   约  定   怎  样   寂 寞 也 不 能   哭
看  吧   下  大 雨 也 不 认  输    请   让   我   学  长    大
下  一 页 的 我   会  去 哪 里   用   多  大 的 勇   气所  有  梦   里 面   的 风   雨   我 不 怕 那 是  我 的 试  题
下  一 页 的 我   希 望   能   拥   有    美  丽 的 明   天
所  以 这  次 我 送   走  从   前     因  为  我   看  的 见

所  有  梦   里 面   的 风   雨   我 不 怕 那 是  我 的 试  题
下  一 页 的 我   希 望   能   拥   有    美  丽 的 明   天
所  以 这  次 我 送   走  从   前     因  为  我   看  的 见

I always tend to do some thinking and reflection on myself and also knowing what I really mean in this world. (which i have never understand) I always ask myself why am i in this world? How am i suppose to spend my life time? What do i really want? Who am i? Do i understand myself? No, i dun understand myself, i dun no what i want, i dun no what I'm for, i dun no what i really like/dislike , i dun no what is my purpose of living , i just dun no everything. Failure in life. Hope I'm not thinking too much.

Just like the song lyirc above that says:
下  一 页 的 我   会  去 哪 里

ya, i really dun no where i will be going. Hoping that life is still a happy one:) 

站   在  未  知  的 泥 土 里   看  我 勇   敢  的 深   呼 吸
黑  的 夜   我 不 怕   天   空   很  大   像    在  说     不 能   哭

I'm really standing at a unknown place, i dun know where i am, where is a place that belongs to me. But that is what i should tell myself ,to be strong. Well, this song lyric really speaks everything.  

I've been through lots of problem these few days yeah, Hais in term of friends, studies....... Well, what to do, life still goes on. I've learn how to be more optimistic, when i meet any problem just smile and tell urself to be strong "everything will be alright" God will help you, when he knows u are sufforcating, he will open a window for u to breathe. 

Is a friendship really that hard to last?? Hais, I really dun no. Everything is just a dream to me. I dun no why i will always feel very hurt to see my friends being sad. Sometime i will thought of whether if im like that, will i be taken for granted? Or will i be just a toy for people to 'play' with?? I hope im not thinking too much. 

I find myself very bad, is like we have been neglecting people around us. Im so sorry. I will spend more time on you ok? I know in class you will feel a bit left out, but my dear i'll try not to let u have this feeling ok? I will be with you. I know you have been through lots of things too but what i want to tell you is that You're not along babe? I will always stand beside and support you. 

In life, there are many things that we are unexpected and we cant do anything about it, so just stay strong and do not let people see your own weaknesses, or they will only harm you. We have to protect ourself, i have understand that whatever things that we do, we cannot depend on other people, we just have to depend on yourself because if u give ur trust and one day u no that ur friend actually betrayed you, this is the time where you will only be very hurt by them therefore this is one of the way to protect urself from getting hurt again. 

LLBBQ!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!<3

I really dun know why people just like to think so much, anyone know the story behind it??? Nah, you dun even no so what are you thinking about?? Trust your gut instinct over spreadsheets. There are too many variables inthe real world that you simply can't put into a spreadsheet. Spreadsheets spit out results from your inexact assumptions and give you a false sense of security. In most cases, your heart and gut are still your best guide. This is what i told myself, everything i do,just follow my heart but sometime things are not as easy as abc. You will definitely have to been through something to make you a better person. I just hope to be a better person cause i want the people around to be happy.

Well, today was my Bao berrr.... LLBBQ MAVIS<3 Birthday!!!! Actually yesterday i spend quite a time to think of how to make her birthday a memorable one but somehow the Timing was not right ar, most of them were having CCA and she is not free in the night. I was very sorry if her birthday celebration was simple cause we really dun have the time but i really hope that she enjoyed and felt happy for all those surprise that we did for her and COCKROACH. My muscle was already aching after running so much but,however, Its still worth it la. As long as she like it. Wow! Her first time eating ice cream with us. Great time together<3<3 But can i say something?? She was quite scary when she have mood swing... Opps...:x But i still love her la<3<3<3 I'll never forget her!!!!

Today is 3/7 DAY!!!!! HAPPY 3/7 DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Had a small chat with Sheryl, my bao berr... just now before we started doing our homework. We started chatting about things and I reflected on the issue. Actually she really have similiar things happening as me, even her feelings. I can really share n talk to her, just love her so much<3<3 She can always understand me. Both of us have the mindset that every relationship won't last, i'm really scare to be in a relationship cause maybe insecure??? or i just scare to be hurt?? I just have no trust in it. I just need a guy to change my mindset. It's hard to find a faithful guy but i hope i will be the lucky one to find it:) Ok la, now what i want is to study la, I really hope to do well in O's but somehow a bit slack. No no cannot like that. I have to work hard JY!!!!!! As for relationship, i put it aside first la. After O's ba or when i guaduate. Whether i like or not, friends first. I 've no choice, i dun want to be selfish. I agree with what sheryl say, whether or not to give them ans is not important at all, is all about the time. Soo... study ba!!!! <3<3